Cherry On Top

2006-01-02T10:41:00.000+08:00

To kinder gods, quiet loves, deeper passions, brief jealousies and even shorter griefs-- to wine, music, poetry. Memorable repasts. Sunrises, sunsets, cool breezes. High hopes, warm beds, long weekends. Cool sand beaches and liesurely drives. Soft hair, blue skies and candlelight dinners. To rogues and rascals and lonely hearts, to rain and sun and moonlight. To political maneuvers and minor insurrections, to narrow escapes from God's disasters, to garlic and ganja, the marriage of true minds and sighs of love, to childhood and new memories, to deeper pockets and reggae music. To magic-- and to a love that overcomes all trials.

CHEERS! Happy 2006!

2005-11-19T09:24:00.000+08:00

CONSTANTINE IS H-O-T.

So I woke up extra early last night to meet up with Tita Avic in Greenbelt 3 Park. She got there early in the hopes of getting tickets for us. she found out when she got there though that the tickets were sold out since first thing in the morning. So, she settled in standing by the railing that separated those fortunate ticketholders from the rest of the crowd. I got there around 15 minutes before the show started. I could barely see the stage from where i was standing because there was this huge christmas lights-studded post that blocked my view. I was about to give up when the railing started to separate and the people started to get inside. Those people included my tita and I. Hahaha! Just when the guards were about to shoo us out, my friend Angel came to our rescue. When it was our turn to be driven away by the guards, Angel was right on time! She told the guards that we were with her and then she brought us super near the stage! Haaay. Heaven. The show was fantastic! I was so starstruck that I could barely speak the whole time! I can even swear that Constantine looked and smiled at me twice! But then again, Tita Avic thinks that she was the one he smiled at. Whatever. I still think it was me. Hahaha!

I would have posted pictures if I had any. I was too busy swooning to think about taking pictures that night. So I'll just probably get pictures from maybe Angel or Tita Avic and then I shall post them here. Hay. I'm still on Cloud 9....

2005-11-17T09:27:00.000+08:00

Saw this written on one of the billboards along the road while I was on my way home. I think it was an ad for either Globe or Smart....

Basta Pinoy.
Posible.

Hay. Amen.

2005-11-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

So, it's been four months since I last blogged. Of course, a lot has happened since. I'm having fun at work, believe it or not. Although having to sit down and take calls for almost 7 hours a day can be a pain in the butt, the people at work compensates for the job itself. I've met so many people and all of them have been very friendly. In fact, I'm enjoying the people so much that I'm thinking about taking this job seriously as opposed to my first plan which was to work in a call center and then quit in December just so I'll have money for Christmas. i'm now thinking of reaching my regularization month and then deciding if I wanna quit or stay with the company.

The only thing that's sad is that three of my batchmates at work got terminated recently. I'm gonna miss those three people so much! Hay. It may be a dog-eat-dog world out there but I'm sure it won't hurt to show a little compassion and use a bit of heart every now and then. The three people the company terminated needed, if not the money, at least the presence of people around them. The management should have looked on that. They weren't that bad in the first place to deserve such an abrupt termination. Hell, I was doing even worse than they were. I just don't see how people have the gall to look down and persercute other people when they themselves have their own faults. I know it was nothing personal and that it was just company rules, but I don't think that people should be tied down by rules if it is the greater good that is suffering. No wonder the world is going to the dumps nowadays. :(

On a happier note, Constantine Maroulis is coming to Manila!!! wooohoo! My dream man! I don't know how I'm gonna get to watch though. It's a first come first served thing and only the first 100 will be given tickets. Grrrr! Hay. Goodluck to me!

That's it for now. Have to take a nap for work later.

2005-07-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

I have a job again. Seems like I'm going to end up in the call center industry after all. Haha! But I'm giving myself until December to really find a job or a business that I really really want. I know I told myself that the next job I'm going to have is a job that I would really really love, but at this point, I'm still clueless as to what that job would be. The good thing is, I have the next few years all planned out already. It's just all a matter of putting my plans into action.

********************

I attended a seminar/retreat yesterday with Tita Avic. It was about contemplative praying and it bored the hell out of me!!! Why? Because number 1, I had a bad hangover. I came from Eric's and Cheska's party the night before and had quite a few drinks. Number 2, I had barely 2 hours of sleep. Anj, Kaia and I left the party at almost 5 a.m. and Tita picked me up at 7:30! Number 3, the speakers were booooring. To make a long story short, all I did was try (very very hard) to listen and if I couldn't, I'd doze off. Haha! I know. It was rude of me, but hell, you can't blame me for getting bored in a seminar where around 97% of the participants were dressed in uniforms. Apparently, the event was hosted by this women's religious organization so naturally, the majority of the participants were members of the org. So, they were supposed to be this bunch of really religious lay women. Guess what, though! They were sooo uncooperative. Well, maybe not as mush as I was, but they were uncooperative nonetheless. Anyway, the event was supposed to start at 8:30 but it started really late because these women took forever to get to their seats! They were all standing in the aisles and chatting! During lunch break, they were all pushing each other to the nearest exits. I swear, they reminded me of little children shoving each other in a sand box! After communion, most of them again went to the nearest exits (mind you, the mass wasn't done yet!) saying, "dito na lang kami magpapabless para tuloy-tuloy na sa labas." Imagine!? I may not be the perfect Catholic, but at least I know how to act during mass! The sad thing is, they're supposed to be like the Church's role models! Their behavior really turned me off! Eeyuck!

********************

Good thing I had so much fun in Eric's party, that not even that uber boring seminar dampened my mood. I haven't been going out much lately that I almost forgot how much fun the Poveda/Southridge people can be! I especially had fun with the Tagaytay 5 (haha!), Kaia, Anj, Avery and Mark (that's 5 plus me!) and the Survivors :), Anj, Kaia, Eric, Avery and Paul. We really really have to push through with the Tagaytay and Batangas plans!!!

********************

Today, GMA gave her SONA. I'm so tired of debating about it with my mom. She's a GMA die-hard. So imagine how frustrating it is to convince her that GMA's move to change the political system from democratic to parliamentary-federal just isn't right. What's worse is that in the way GMA said it, it seemed like she was doing the country a favor in changing political systems, as if all the political crises the country's facing right now were caused by the form of government that we have at the moment. Excuse me! Props go to Mar Roxas, Pia Cayetano, Frank Drilon and those who are vocal and unbalimbing enough to say that we are not ready for a change in the political system and that the government should have other more important and more relevant things to address to.

2005-07-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

Can't wait for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! That movie brings back so many memories! I remember when I saw Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the film Charlie.. is based on. It was at my lolo's den one Sunday. My cousins and I gathered around the TV while my tita put in the laser disc of the movie (yeah, laser disc... that was obviously ages ago). We shared popcorn and soda while watching what would be my all-time favorite film.

So now that Charlie...'s gonna be shown soon, my cousins and I are planning to watch together for old times' sake. Hehe! So if you see a troop of adults lining up for the movie, that would be us. Hay. I wish Charlie.. will be as good, if not better than the original film.

Pure Imagination
Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley

Come with me and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination

We'll begin with a spin
Trav'ling in the world of my creation
What we'll see will defy
Explanation

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it

There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it

There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it

There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be

2005-07-12T14:28:00.000+08:00

Whoa. Can't believe I let 4 months pass without blogging anything. Hmm.. So, where do I start?

1. I am unemployed... again. I've been jobless since April 21, 2 months after I started. Haha. But it was because I had nothing more to do for the company. The two events I was in charge of were over (although one never really took place.), so I was left with nothing to do, so I left.

2. Galera with my cousins. Although it could have been more fun, it was a memorable weekend nonetheless. I went with Nico, Cam, Cecille, Patty, Kuya Paolo, Farrah, Jesse, Gaye, Niccolo, Ria, Carla and Eman. Cecille also brought 4 friends along. Saw so many people I know. Nothing beat bonding with my cousins over massages, mangga't bagoong, kebabs and pitchers of Mindoro Sling. *pictures to follow*

3. Singles for Christ. Yes. I joined Singles for Christ. Why? I'm not really sure yet why, but I've sure gained a few friends from it.

4. Mama's 50th birthday party. This was THE party! Haha! Aside from the fact that I helped put it up, all my cousins, tito's and tita's were so cooperative. Almost all had numbers in the program. The food was great! Viva Rodizio rocks! The drinks were bottomless! Trey, Wawie and Mike were there! FUN FUN night!!!

with the birthday/golden girl :)

Nico, Trey, Wawie, Cecille, Tito Reggie, me, Patty, Jesse, Johnny, Cam, Czacza and Kuya Paolo

Nico, Trey, me and Wawie

with jetlagged Mike :) and Nico

with Trey and Wawie, the best production people! Hehe!

with the Men In White (Wawie and Mike)

Tito Reggie, Cam, me, Wawie, Cecille and Czacza

Cam, Czarina, Ana, me, Trey and Nic

5. Lisa left for Australia to find hot Aussies. joke. She left to explore her opportunities there. As of late, she's working as an Editorial Assistant in a publication, living with her Kuya Mark and is freezing to death. Haha. Miss you, Lees!

6. Randy left for Singapore. Hay. Another big loss. When he left, I felt like I lost a dad. He and Chiara have been like my second set of parents and now that he's gone to Singapore, I feel like my family's incomplete. Hehe. I hope he comes back here soon.

7. Pil left for Spain. My sweetest, most charming friend left for Spain a few weeks back. I am so gonna miss her place, champagne ice cream, her kilig kwentos, the way she says, "I love my friends!," her giggle, her super soft and high-pitched voice.... Hay, I miss Pil! :( Fedex me some Spanish hunks, will you? Haha!

So now that I have nothing to be busy with, I'm back to my bored, nothing-else-to-do-but-blog self. Haha. I'm currently looking for a job, but not just any kind of job. The next job I'm gonna have is one that I'm really gonna enjoy doing. So now, I'm not settling for just any kind of job. This time around, Erix and her next job are going to jive so well that she wouldn't even know the difference between working and having fun! Yeah! Haha! So, that's it for now. Gotta find that job! Ciao!

2005-03-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

I had dinner with friends last night. Hay. What a welcome relief from the stress at work. I was supposed to meet Lisa right after work, but my mom had to stay a bit in her office so I had to wait for her. And then, the driver thought I was going home with my mom so he missed all the turns going to Eastwood. Hassle. I ended up arriving in Eastwood more than an hour after our meeting time. Sorry, Lees.

Anyways, When I was on my way to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, I saw this couple. The guy's a friend, the girl, an acquaintance. My eyes beamed when I saw them because they were people from college, and I miss college so bad that anything or anyone that reminded me of those days made me beam! So while I was descending from the escalator, getting ready to say hi or to be said hi to, I noticed that no pleasantries were about to happen. I'm sure they saw me through their peripheral vision, but for some weird reason, they didn't budge. Argh. I felt bad. To make things worse, Lisa and I saw them again when we were walking to Jack's Loft. They both said hi to Lisa. They even talked to her. I tried to join in, but the girl's eyes were focused only on Lisa, as if I wasn't beside her. The guy was just staring on the floor the whole time Lisa's and the girl's conversation was going on! So for those few minutes, I felt like I was a ghost-- they knew I was there, but they didn't talk to me, or even spared a glance at my direction. Argh! I hated the feeling!

Buti na lang, I had fun over dinner. A lot of people were able to make it (Lisa, Ding, Tammy, Jem, Alessa, Mark, Ria, Bobs, Kaia, Mike, Trey and Waps). We spent the night reminiscing and updating ourselves with the things that are keeping us busy lately. All the catching up continued aterwards when Ding, Kaia, Bobs, Ria, Trey, Mike, Waps and I had coffee. After a while though, people were getting sleepy (hay. tatanda na talaga!) so Mike and I went to Waps' and continued talking there. Haaay. I swear, being with those two boys makes me feel so safe. Waps and Mike: 3-oh-4-oh-5! WAT Club! Hahaha! ;P

Fun, fun night (minus the incident earlier)! :D

2005-03-02T19:49:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Isabel Silva (Feb 27) , Marky Mark Ibaviosa and Glemm Francisco (March 2)! Miss you guys tons! :)

2005-02-21T01:45:00.000+08:00

So, am officially employed again. I'm now working at StreetPark Productions, Inc. as the Marketing Manager. Hahaha! I know, it's so not me to meddle in the world of marketing, but hey, it's worth a try. I'm supposed to find sponsors for two of the events our company's handling-- a fashion show featuring the designs of Dita Sandico-Ong and a hiphop beach party in Boracay. So for those who're reading this, if you are affiliated with a company who's willing to sponsor, or better yet, if you own a company and you need tri-media exposure, drop me a message. I promise, we have great deals!

So there. I hope this job'll get my brain working again, after being in hybernation for almost a year. I'm trying to set up a business too. I'm still trying to figure things out though. But as soon as all is settled, I'm gonna start spreading the word. :)

2005-02-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKE!
Cheers to the past, present and future of our friendship! Thanks for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I'm lucky to have you for a bestfriend! Luvya! :)

2005-02-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was officially the 22nd Valentines' day that I didn't have a special someone to spend the day with. Hay. Fotunately, I didn't have time to wallow in the thought of being single because I had my girlfriends with me last night. I had a super fun time with them!

Was brought by Tito Jimmy and Xavier to Kaia's house where I hung out with her and Chil. We had a bottle of Vodka Ice each and shared tons of thoughts on being single. Haha! It was fun! After a while, Kaia and I dropped Chil off at her house and then the two of us went to Eastwood to meet the rest of the single girls. We had dinner in Pasto with Lisa, Trey, Tammy, Kyla, Ria, Anj and Bobs. Pil dropped by. After dinner, we had a few drinks in Blue Onion. I had so much fun with the girls! We spent the whole night just laughing and swapping stories.

And then, they all had to go home while I had to wait for my parents to pick me up. So, I walked around Eastwood (alone on V-day. hay), when fortunately, I saw Bon, Kuya Dennis, Ate Raqs, Joy, Che, Jenna and two of their friends. I spent a few minutes with them until my parents came.

It was a fun V-day, overall. Though I don't have a boyfriend to spend last night with, at least I have so many friends to keep me company and who never cease to make me feel loved. With friends like them, I don't mind spending the next V-days without a boyfriend (*erix crosses her fingers* haha!).

2005-02-12T20:19:00.000+08:00

Went to Gawad Kalinga with Patty and Issa to distribute the left-over toys from our tiangge. It was such a great experience. I never thought that those toys could really brighten up the faces of the kids.

Before distributing the toys though, there was an activity wherein the kids had to make Valentine cards for the people they love. The activity, however shallow it may be, brought tears to my eyes because as I read the cards, I felt the love and the sincerity in them. I saw how much effort they put into forming the hearts on the paper, cutting them out, sticking them on another paper, making the front colorful and then writing each letter of the message they wanted to put. No offense to Hallmark, but I'd definitely choose those cards over any machine-made card.

After distributing the toys and the food, it was time to go home. So everyone formed a circle, held hands and prayed. A little boy was asked to lead the prayer. I thought it would just be one of those memorized prayers but it was nothing like that. His prayer went, "Panginoon, salamat po sa mga bumisita samin ngayon na nagbigay ng mga laruan at pagkain. Salamat po sa mga nagtuturo samin linggo-linggo. Salamat po sa mga nagbigay samin ng mga bahay. Salamat po sa mga taong tumutulong samin na magbagong-buhay." After the prayer, Patty and I were in tears.

Those kids are deprived of so many things in life. They don't have enough clothes to keep them warm. They barely eat three times a day. Most of them don't even get to go to school... And in their prayer, all they had to tell God was thanks, while we, the more fortunate ones, have nothing to say to God but ask Him for things that we don't really need.

Sad.

2005-02-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday, Nina Trias! I hope we'd see each other more often this year! I love you! Mwah!
Birthday greetings too, to Roi! May you have lots more to come! God bless!

operation

2005-02-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

Feb 3
After going to the doctor yesterday and having him take a look at my cyst, my mom decided to have it operated on today. I was scheduled to go under the knife (naks! haha!) at 1 p.m. So, at exactly 1, Cam and I were in the hospital only to find out that the doctor will be late. We waited for more than an hour until finally I was asked to go to the operating room. There, I was asked to change in a hospital gown and slippers and then I was led to one of the beds. After a while, the doctor came in, and then started with the procedure.

It was torture. They used local anaesthesia, meaning I was wide awake the whole time so I felt the pressure of the knife on my skin. I also felt pain everytime the anaesthesia lost its effect. When that happens, some more had to be injected on the cyst. Hay. HELL!

The operation lasted for about 30 minutes but it felt like forever. Afterwards, I changed my clothes and met up with Cam and Patty outside the OR. I was sooo dizzy, everything around me was starting to turn white! Buti na lang it went away after a while. After paying the bills, the three of us went to the office. There, Daddy Victor saw us, made him sit by his table and started talking to us about entrepeneurship... Yes, while the anaesthesia was starting to fade away and the wound was starting to get painful. After what felt like hours, my wound was starting to kill me so Tita Avic had Mommy's nurse buy me some pain killers. I was close to tears with pain when the medicine started to work. Argh! I hate pain. One thing I realized after the operation was that I think I have a higher tolerance for emotional pain than the physical type... But that's for an entirely different entry. Hehe!

Feb 4
After spending more than half of the day thinking about how I was going to take a bath, I was finally able to, thanks to Ging, our helper! Hehe! She shampooed my hair without wetting my whole body by having me kneel by my parents' tub so that only my head got wet. Afterwards, I mixed about half a bottle of alcohol with a small basin of lukewarm water for my sponge bath. It wasn't as good as actually taking a real bath, but it was better than not taking a bath at all!

After a couple of hours, Mitzi, Claire and Nina came to pick me up before going to Mandel's party. Once we got there, we settled in one of the tables. They got to drink, but I wasn't able to because Claire's dad, who's a doctor, said people who just got operated on should not drink because it could cause bleeding and pain. Hassle! But I had fun nonetheless because I got to see and talk with people whom I haven't seen in ages. We all had to leave early though because Mitz, Nina and Nico had classes the next day. It was a fun, fun party! :)

2005-02-01T14:21:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to my super duper good friends, Mandel and Dex! I miss hanging out with you guys! Love you both! Mwah!

Goodbye Job!

2005-01-27T02:49:00.000+08:00

It's my last day at work. I'm having mixed feelings, which is totally unexpected, considering that I've been looking forward to this day. I guess it's because I'm gonna miss a lot of things. 4 months may not be too long but there sure have been a lot of things that took place in that span of time...

What i'll miss:
1. Waking up late... as in late. And not feeling guilty about it.
2. Ministop and 7-Eleven, because you can bet your life I will not set foot in any of those two establishments anytime soon.
3. My 5 boyfriends. Haha! During my cigarette breaks (which I usually took alone), I've come across 5 really cute and charming guys and I've called them my boyfriends ever since.
4. TrueAdvantage (our project). I know I have complained endlessly about copying and pasting and not being able to use my brain much. I just feel like my body's (my fingers especially) gonna miss seeing and working on the database.
5. Going to work in casual clothes. This, I guess, is the only perk I got from this job- being able to work in flip flops, jeans and tees.
6. Having super fast internet. Hay. This, I'm going to miss terribly.
7. Updating almost everyday. I don't think I'll be able to update as often as I've been updating since I started working because my PC at home hates me and there's Nico to compete with for cyber time.
8. Breakfasts with Kaia. No more Coffee Plus mornings. :(
9. My officemates. I don't think I would've survived for 4 months without them. They've kept the level of my sanity normal.

What i'm looking forward to:
1. Being awake in the day and asleep at night. I will finally be able to lead a normal life again. Halleluja!
2. Watching AI. Ever since it started, I haven't seen even one complete episode of it so now, I'm super excited to watch and be able to relate to what the whole world's currently talking about.
3. My next job. Whatever that may be.
4. Seeing my friends more often. Woohoo! No more missing them too much! :)
5. Hanging out at Cam's at night. I've missed 4 months of not being able to hang out in her bedroom at night. I'm glad I'm gonna be able to do that again!
6. YM and Friendster. No more firewall to keep me from them!
7. Oprah! Can't believe I was able to not watch her for 4 months! Haha! Exag! :)
8. Family QT. I'm glad I'll get to have dinner with my family again. I missed our long chats over meals and watching DVD's at my parents' room.

3 hours and11 minutes to go 'til I log out. The idea that I'm not logging back in tomorrow, or ever, saddens me. I'm gonna be typing 05504 (my employee number), then am clicking on log-out in our Time Keeping System for one last time. I'm not sad because I'm gonna miss the work. I'm sad because this has been a part of my life. Most of my officemates have become good friends and it's just sad that after tonight, we won't be seeing each other on a daily basis anymore. I will no longer be able to share meals with them at midnight or joke around with them in our stations. I'll miss Abby's and Adette's great humor and advice. I'll miss Myra's motherly presence. I'll miss Robelle's no-nonsense attitude. I'll miss Jo's laugter. I'll miss Carlo's pranks. I'll miss the people whom I've considered my family for the past 4 months. I'll miss my work station too! Heck, I'll even miss my report templates and Microsoft Excel!

But then again, leaving this job's what I've always wanted to do. I guess it's just normal to feel this way. After a while, I'll get over this sadness and go do things I've been deprived of doing ever since I started to work here. But I swear to God I will never forget the experiences I've gained and the wonderful people I've met. I don't know when we're gonna see each other next. I'm not even sure if we're ever going to see each other after tonight. All I know is that each one of them has made a huge impact in my life, and that, no matter how far apart we will be from each other, will keep them close to my heart.

Goodbye, SVI. Goodbye, TA. Goodbye, Abby, Jo, Carlo, My, Robelle and Adette.

2005-01-26T05:23:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, Kaia, Chil, Charles, Josh, LA, Dandan, Tammy, Nico, Bobs, Anj, Wawie and I all dressed up for a party at Tammy's. Wawie's invite said it was the Christmas party of the people in the OPS Room in Days, when actually, it was just an excuse to dress up and get together. Hehe. The girls were all wearing gowns, while the guys donned their ties and coats. Dinner was al fresco in Tammy's lanai. The night was, as Kaia put it, "one for the books." Though nothing extraordinary happened, it was fun. We were all just goofing around, playing charades, doing photo shoots of each other and filling ourselves with ice cream. Too bad I wasn't able to see Ree because she had to leave early. Oh well. Next time.

Laughing pearl princess. Haha!

Dreamy pearl princess...

The King and The Queen. Bwahaha.

Wala lang pic with Kae. :)

The Nic and I. :)

On Sunday, the cousins had a meeting at Daddy's. We were supposed to meet regarding the turnout of our Tiangge but what was planned to be a serious, no-nonsense meeting turned out to be a binge fest of calamares, chicken, mangoes, dalandan and almost anything we could get our hands on. Haha! Later in the afternoon, everyone went out to the garden and set up tables for Mahjong and Tong-its. Cam, Cecille and I, being the only gambling-illiterate ones, just stayed in the gazebo and had as much enjoyment making fun of the rest. We'd call out names that sound like the names of the people in the cabana and then when the person we called out to looked at us, we'd say we weren't calling him/her.

For example:

Cam, Cecille and Erix: Dana! Dana!
Ana (looks at the 3): What?
Cam, Cecille and Erix tell Ana, in between bursts of laughter that we weren't calling her.

Reading it may not be as funny as actually being there, but you get the point, plus, we super had a blast doing that.

Mike then dropped by and played Red Dog with us, girls, at my house. When we ran out of 1-peso coins, we called it off and just hung out.

We then had dinner at Daddy's after Mike left and just spent the rest of the night playing with the kids and hanging out in the garden.

The next day, I had a job interview in Honda, Makati. In the morning, I called t confirm that I was showing up and was informed that I can come in anytime between 1:30 and 4:30. I got there at 4. At 6, this girl comes in the lounge where I was waiting...

Girl: Are you an applicant?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Sino pa?
Me: Wala na yata.
Girl: I'm sorry but our cut-off time is at 4:30.
Me: I was here at 4.
Girl: Ok. But the cut-off time is at 4:30.
Me: I know. That's why I was here at 4!
*She then tells me to fill-out an application form and then leaves. I fill-out the form while my blood starts to boil. The girl then re-emerges...
Girl: Can you follow me?
Me: Now? (Haha! Angas!)
Girl: Yes.
* I follow her and she proceeds with interviewing me. She tells me to come back the next day for exams. The temperature of my blood normalizes.

Cut-off time my ass.

On my way to Kaia's (my dad was to drop me off there because it was still too early for work), I thought it wouldn't be wise for me to work that night since I had to be in Honda at 8:30 the following morning. So, I texted Carlo, my boss, and told him I won't be able to show up for work. I then joined my dad for dinner with his cousins at Gerry's. There, we met up with Tito Reggie and Tita Nanette, Tita Maricel, Tito Bobby, and the balikbayans, Tito Edwin and Tita Rowena, Tito Edgar and Tita Poy. I was stuffed afterwards but got bored listening to the conversations of the "oldies." So, I crossed the street and met up with Mike in Starbucks. My dad told me not to stay there for long so after several minutes, I was hurrying to get back to Gerry's. Mike kept on telling me to stay longer, but the obedient daughter in me was just too powerful. Hehe! So I walked all the way back to Gerry's only to find out that the "oldies" decided on capping off the night with coffee.... at Starbucks! Grrreat! I swear, there is a down side to being too obedient! Haha! Oh well, at least I got to spend more time with my best bud. :)

On Tuesday, I arrived in Honda at 8, waited until 10 and finally started with the exams at 10:30. At 12, the proctor told us (there were 3 of us) to have lunch and come back at 1:30. Because I only had 1 test left and the other 2 still had to take some mechanical exam (they were applying for some techy position), I asked if I could skip lunch and take my last exam. I got a no, so I figured maybe the exam had a time limit and therefore needed a proctor and since the rest of the HR people had to take their lunch breaks, I had to take mine too.

Thing is, my dad had an appointment at 3 p.m. and if he waited for me, he won't be able to make it to his meeting. So, I told him to just leave me there and that I'd find a way to get to Kaia's house. After some hesitations, he agreed. I then had lunch alone at Pancake House, bought cigarettes at Rustan's and smoked... alone. Argh!

At 1:30, the three of us were called up to the exam room to resume. The instructions for my exam were:

Proctor: This is your last exam. It's a 180-item personality test. Please answer as truthfully as you can blablabla... There is no time limit. After the exam, please submit your answer sheet to the HR Department.

I swear I wanted to wring her neck when I heard her last two sentences. Why? Because:

1. As I've said, the other two applicants had another set of exam so they had to take lunch because they were going to be there longer.

2. I waited 1 1/2 hours for an exam which took me only 15 minutes to finish!!!

3. The proctor didn't stay in the exam room while I was taking the test and she didn't have to wait for me to finish since she told me to give my exam to the HRD after... meaning if she game me the test before the lunch break, it wouldn't have made a difference at all! Plus, I wouldn't have to commute from Magallanes to Greenhills!

After asking Kyla for instructions on how to take public transpo from Honda to Kaia's, I embarked on my journey. Haha! Thank God it was convenient, except for the long walk from the MRT station to K's house. I'm sooo glad I survived.

Whew. Those four days were tiring.

2005-01-22T03:21:00.000+08:00

I wonder how life would be if I had a boyfriend. Would it be happier? more convenient? easier? I wouldn't know. My first and last relationship (or whatever that was) ended in1998. It started two months before it ended. Great, huh? Worse, I have never considered it as a relationship because I was too young then that I felt we were just playing house. Haha. I know, exagg. But really, I haven't been in a serious relationship yet and at this point in my life, it's starting to feel like time's starting to run out. Don't get me wrong. I'm in no hurry. It's just that I think being an old maid runs in our family. Three of my lola's sisters never married. My mom was the only girl among her siblings who married, leaving us cousins with two single titas. Although I have nothing against old maids (in fact, I consider these women the coolest), I wouldn't want to have the same fate as them-- at least love life-wise.

So what would it really be like if I had a boyfriend? I guess life would be lighter since I'd be having someone to share my problems with. I know I have my family and friends who help carry most of my burdens, but I guess having a boyfriend would provide comfort in knowing that there's one person who worries about my problems as much as I do. Friends may be there, but they have their own problems to deal with. A boyfriend, on the other hand, is part of your life, and you're part of his, and somehow your lives are entwined in such a way that you share everything-- from t-shirts to problems.

I guess life would also be more exciting. I'd get to go to my favorite places, do my favorite things with someone new. I'd finally be able to sit on the lovers' seat in the movie house in Rockwell or lift the arm rest in the seats in Greenbelt. Oh, and I can finally eat in Pasto on Valentine's Day (when they set a menu exclusively for couples and a la carte is not available). I'd also be able to put my creativity in use and come up with the most unique ideas for gifts. My fantasy dates would finally happen (the picnic of all our favorite food, candlit dinner among trees, goofing around in the rain, etc. etc.)

Most importantly, I'd be able to take care of someone, and love him with all my heart, without any fear of rejection.

Hay. Wishful thinking.

But then again, singlehood rocks. Besides, I have boys in my life who love me, though not in a romantic way, in ways that only they know how. And for that, I'm super thankful... So to the men in my life, especially Papa, Nico, Mike, Waps, Caloy and Wawie, thanks and I love you all! :)

Happy Birthday, Patuts!

2005-01-20T04:12:00.000+08:00

If there was someone whom I consider the sister I never had, it would be my cousin, Patty. We would have been born on the same day had her parents planned on "making" her two weeks earlier. Hehe! We were both born in Makati Med. We had a joint 1st birthday party in McDonald's Greenhills. We lived in the same building until my family decided to leave when I was in the 7th grade. In our growing years, we had the usual sisters' quarrels, played house, stuffed our mouths with polvoron and then laughed our guts out, ate tons of frozen grapes before going to Simbang Gabi, sneaked in junk food (I wasn't allowed to eat junk food when I was a kid), sold gulaman and buko juice in the summer, befriended the kids who sold puto and bibingka by our lolo's building and hung out with them... I could go on and on enumerating the stuff we did together when we were kids.

We went to the same pre-school. We then went to Assumption for grade school. I eventually transferred to Poveda, but we always made it a point to write each other (back in the days when e-mail wasn't popular yet), as if we lived miles apart. Sometimes, we wrote each other everyday even if we didn't have anything to write about.

Towards the end of highschool, we sort of drifted apart. There were issues that we didn't see eye-to-eye on and that created a rift between us. For a time, I became closer to my other cousins than I was with her. There was even a time when we didn't talk or see each other for months at a time. It wasn't as if we held grudges or felt bitterness towards each other. It was more of us just growing farther and farther apart.

I'm not really sure what started it, but as college drew to an end, we started seeing more of each other again. We texted and called one another more often. We started being as close as we were before. Now, we see each other as often as possible. In fact, our Thursdays are spent in the mall, having coffee and just blabbing and gossiping the whole afternoon and early evening long.

Together with our other cousin, Cam, we now talk about more mature stuff, as opposed to the stuff we used to talk about when we were younger. We'd now have conversations about our careers, love (her relationship with her boyfriend, Jesse and my lack of a significant other. Haha!), our families. Heck, we even talk about politics and religion now! We've outgrown our Play-doh's and Barbie's and have switched to shopping, eating and having coffee out, going out on gimmicks, drinking with our other cousins and friends, or just hanging out at Daddy Vic's house on Sundays as our favorite things to do together.

I can't imagine not having Patty in my life. I don't know if I've ever thanked her enough, or if I've thanked her at all for being the sister that I wish I had.

So Patuts, let this tribute be my form of thanks to you for being the Patty that I've forever loved. HAPPY HAPPY 22nd! Mwah! :)

2005-01-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

What an F-U-N party! I'd like to thank, first of all (naks! ala awards' night! hehe!), everybody who was able to make it on Saturday:
my cousins: Patty, Ana, Cam, Cecille, Czarina, Kuya Paolo, Farrah and Nathan; the Berx: Jesse, Kuya Dennis, Ate Raqs, Bon, Jenna and Niccolo; YFC people: Dex, Carlo, JB, Benedict and Patchoy;
A2 Annex and Unblockmates: SJ, Rose, Willard, Mila, Bianx, Carl and Randy; M-Boys: Mike, Waps, Jem, Toby and PJ; Pilar, Bobs, Anj, Ria, Tammy, Kaia, Lauren, Clarie, Ibarra, Isa, Raf, Glenn, Dandan, Joshua, Charles, Wawie, LA, Trey, Mitzi, Nina, Claire, Raymond, Mandel, Toto and Kyla.

Tita Rubee, Tita Avic, Mama, Papa and Nico: thanks for the wonderful food (the pasta bar, salad, chicken and barbecue), for fixing up the place and for being game enough to hang out and talk to my friends.

Wawie, LA, Mandel, Kyla, Toto and Kaia: thanks for that super fun time with my mom by the door. Haha! ;)

Mandel, Kyla and Toto (and Kaia, but she left us for my mom! haha! joke, K!): thanks for being the last men standing! It was fun singing Broadway with you guys! Naks! Mandel, your mix was the bomb!!!

Kaia, Bobs, Chil, Lauren, Ria, Tammy, LA, Wawie, Joshua, Dandan and Anj: thanks for the JAVANESE ROYAL BATH GC!!! Woohoo! That was my favorite gift! Thanks also to Bon for the Waterman pen (looove it!), Ana and Niccolo for the belt, Cam and Raymond for the top, Patty and Jesse for the necklace, Rose, SJ and Fay for the lip palette, Randy for the chocolates, Carl for the rose (hay, kung lalaki ka lang! haha!), Isa, Raf and Pilar for the notebooks, Mila, Shar and Bianx for the clutch bag, Glenn for the goat's milk body butter (kilala mo talaga ako!), Willard for the yellow towel (good guess on my favorite color!) and Nina, Claire and Mitzi for the wine and mini vodka.

To those who weren't able to make it (especially Lisa, Ale and Chiara): We missed you guys! :(

****************

It was just too bad that I wasn't able to spend as much time with the people as I wanted because I had to go from one group to another. I still have tons of catching up to do with most of them even after the party, but it's all good, I guess. It seems like they had a blast anyway.

Hay. If it just isn't too expensive to hold parties as often as I want, I'll throw one everytime I feel like it.

Bobs, Kaia, Anj, me and Nico

DanDan, Charles, Trey, Bobs, Anj, Tammy, Glenn, Ria, Wawie, Kaia, me and Pil

Glenn, DanDan, Nico, Joshee, me, Ria, Bobs, Anj, Wawie, Tammy and Kaia (right after the The Spa GC surprise!)

Kaia, Nico, my mom, me and Mandel (a few of the last men standing. hehe!)

2005-01-14T04:04:00.000+08:00

Chanced upon this really nice song by U2 on the radio...

Sometimes, You Can't Make it On Your Own
U2

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I, that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need, I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing
You're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

*****************

I got published yesterday! Yey! One thing off my things-to-do-before-I-reach-25 list (Nov. 19, 2004 entry)! :)

http://news.inq7.net/opinion/index.php?index=2&story_id=24060&col=127

Divisoria Adventure

2005-01-12T04:42:00.000+08:00

Ana, Cam and I went to Divisoria today (yesterday for normal people. hehe!). I've been to Divisoria a number of times already but today was the first time we went there using public transportation! It was such an adventure!

After work, I went straight to Ana's. Cam came after a while. We then rode a jeep to the Santolan station of the new LRT. The Santolan station is the one along Marcos Highway. I heard they're extending it to Antipolo but for now, it's where the railway ends. To get to Divisoria, we had to ride the train from Santolan to Recto, which is the other end of the railway. It took us all of 20 minutes to get to Recto. What would normally take at least an hour and a half took less than half an hour! Amazing! So when we got to Recto, we took a 5-minute jeep ride to the Tutuban mall. What was funny though was that when we got there, the mall wasn't open yet! Haha! Mga excited mag-shopping kasi!

The mall finally opened at 9. Ana was able to buy a shirt for her boyfriend and for Nathan. I got 2 bags for P100 each and a shirt for P150. After a while, we transferred to Clusters. There, Cam was able to buy a cute yellow leather bag for P100. The three of us also bought a top each. After Clusters, we went to my favorite mall in Divisoria-- 168! Woohoo! Hehe! Until now, I still don't have a clue as to how they came up with the name. My tita told me it's because that number has something to do with Feng Shui. I'm guessing it's a lucky number or something.

Anyways, I bought more of the kiddie bracelets for my friends. I had the urge to buy another pair of ballet flats but I later fought the urge, thank goodness. Ana and Cam weren't able to though. Hehe. Ana got black and brown ones while Cam bought another white pair. I made a mental note to get the tweed ones next time I go there. We also bought garrison belts. I think I bought 4-- 2 for me and 2 for Nico. We bought so much stuff that Cam had to beg Ana to go home already before she finds another item she likes. My favorite buy of the day was the huge bag of dried squid (the flat kind), which I got for only P100!!! Woohoo!

We finished shopping at around 1. When I got home, I took a bath and went straight to bed. I got up a few hours later with sore calves and painful feet but hey, with the bargain that we got, the pain's worth it! Hehe! Can't wait for our next Divisoria trip!

Tutuban Mall

2005-01-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

January 7, 2004

I had a wonderful birthday! Well, it could've been better had I not been in the nightshift and missed half of the day because I was dozing off during most of it.

Anyways, I think I'll start off from where I ended my last post. So, after Kaia, Kuya Cholo, Trey and Clarie's surprise visit, I had to go back up to the office. After my shift, I met up with Ria in Starbucks. We had breakfast but had to cut it short because she had to go to work. On our way back to JMT, we saw Ron Aldover and Marion Espano. The four of us talked for a while before they all went to work and I went home.

I slept as soon as I got home. Got up at around 4 p.m.. Mike texted asking for the plans later that night. We then agreed on coffee after dinner. Mama and Nico were home by 5 but had to leave after a while because Nico had to meet up with his highschool friends while my mom had to go to Tita Evelyn's party. Papa was to meet up with her there.

So, I was home alone (even Manang and Ging left), but not for long because Cecille and Cam came over. We hung out for a while before Mike picked me up. We decided to go to Starbucks Libis but the traffic was really bad on our way there. We then went to Starbucks Metrowalk but there wasn't a parking slot available and the tables were all taken so we ended up in Starbucks Missouri.

Later, Kaia, Josh and Tammy joined us. All we did was laugh the whooole night. I had so much fun! I haven't laughed that much in a looong time that by the time Nico came (his friends dropped him off.), I had gas from too much laughing. Hehe! And then, Josh started doing tricks using playing cards ala David Blaine. Galing galing ni Josh!!! Woohoo!!!

Mike brought Nico and I home at a few past 2. Although my body was so tired from all the kwentos and laughing I did, my mind was so hung-over from the fun I had.

I love my friends sooo much! Can't wait to see the rest of them on Saturday!

By the way, I finally got my Starbucks planner! Thanks to Mike who not only helped in making my birthday a super happy one, but also filled my card with stickers! :)

January 8, 2004

I went to Ate Raqs' party on Saturday. It was fun to hang out with the Berx again after such a long time. We drank, feasted on the great pasta and played charades. The game was girls versus boys and well... WE WON! woohoo! girls rock! hehe!

Special congratulatory shout out to Patty who drove us all home! Although I was scared out of my wits while we were in the car, I was so proud of you! Hehe! Gimmick na to!

January 9, 2004

Had dinner at Daddy Vic's house on Sunday because ex-sen. Honasan and our other soldier-family friends were there. The food was superb! On the bar were different kinds of wine and appetizers, my favorite of which was the dried dates wrapped in smoked ham. Yum! The meal consisted of salad, pasta with white seafood sauce, prawns with herbs (also wrapped in smoked ham), lamb stew and some other stuff I forget. My favorite course was the dessert! Tita cut different kinds of fruit into super small cubes, marinated them in syrup with a hint of mint, chilled them and put them in tall glasses. Before serving, she poured ice-cold champagne into the glasses. The result: Heaven!

As expected, the conversations on the dinner table revolved around politics. Although I never really understood why some people (especially the opposition, of which Honasan is an active member of), would not stop threatening the stability of the government, I quite agree with most of the ideals of Honasan (at least most of what he talked about last night).

I guess it all boils down to the fact that we all dream of a perfect place to live in. It just so happens that we have different means of achieving that dream. Howell.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2005-01-07T02:58:00.000+08:00

What a way to start my birthday! At around 10 p.m. last night, Kaia texted me and asked me if she could drop by the office. Of course she could. After all, since our client ended its contract with us, we haven't been doing anything but surf and blog all night long! Anyway, Kaia called at 11:30 saying she was already downstairs. When I got there, Kuya Cholo was there. He then brought me to the side of the building where Kaia was. They bought me coffee and a slice of Chocolate Dome Cake, which happens to be my favorite Starbucks cake. What was even sweeter was that they sang for me too. Haha! We didn't care if we looked like idiots by the side of the road! But now that I think of it, I wonder what the other people around us thought, seeing three people, huddled together in a dark corner of a building, one with a plastic container of cake, another with a lit lighter, and the third smiling at the other two? Haha! We could have passed as a secret society holding a top secret meeting.

After a while, Trey and Clarie happened to pass by. They had dinner somewhere in El Pueblo and they were on their way home. We were screaming with glee when we saw each other because the meeting was totally unexpected! It was such a pleasant, pleasant surprise.

The texts then started to pour in. Hay. How touching that they were still awake and they remembered that it was my birthday at 12 midnight en punto. Thanks to Mike, Kyla (I miss you!), Aiko, Czarina, Cecille, Patty, Jesse, Rose, Bobs, Mitzi and Ria (whom I will have breakfast with later. Yey!) for calling/texting within the first hour of the day! :) Thanks also to Ral and Bianca G. for greeting me in advance yesterday.

Special thanks to Kaia, who always comes up with something special on my birthday, and Kuya Cholo. Thanks too to Trey, Clarie and Ibarra for letting fate drag them to where I was. Hehe!

Can't wait for the rest of the day to happen. :)

2005-01-06T03:23:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to write about the disaster in South Asia and parts of Africa brought about by the tsunamis. I just couldn't think of the right words to describe how distraught I am. I first learned about the tsunami while I was channel-surfing the day it happened. CNN was reporting about a strong earthquake near the coastline of Sumatra. It was so strong that it registered 9.8 on the Richter scale. That in itself was a catastrophe. What followed was totally unexpected and unbelievable. Tsunamis hit Sumatra, or more specifically the province of Aceh. Then, several other tsunamis hit other South Asian countries. A few even hit parts of Africa. As of late, there are around 160, 000 lives lost. They say the number is expected to rise because of possible disease outbreaks, shortage of food, etc. What's even worse is that I heard someone fro CNN say that at least 40% of those who died are children.

How does one react to an event such as this? I have yet to absorb the gravity of the calamity, but if ever I finally absorb it, what next? Used clothes and money can only do so much. What about all the lives lost, the bodies not yet accounted for, or those who, up until now are still missing? Surely, no amount of food, clothes or financial help can breathe back life into them.

This made me think: What criteria does God have when choosing which person to take next? Does He pick the poor first to alleviate them from poverty? Does He prioritize the children to maintain their innocence? I know only He has the power and the authority to take away life because He was the one who gave it anyway, but to take it away so suddenly and in such a brutal manner makes me doubt that God had a hand in the tragedy.

There seems to be no one and nothing to blame for this calamity and in a world where people always find someone or something to put the blame on, this is very hard to accept. No one can produce an earthquake. It's like one of those cancers that just... happens. There was no warning and no one had an inkling about the damage that it would bring. It's frustrating that however way one thinks about it, there seems to be no logical explaination as to why this happened.

And now, relief efforts are being made. Sandra Bullock is reportedly giving a million bucks. Germany has pledged at least half a billion dollars. So has Japan. Help is pouring from all over. The amount of all the help is just overwhelming. Indonesia, for example, has put aside its political problems to concentrate more on the rehabilitation of the places affected by the quake and tsunami. What bothers me though is the reaction of US. Bush first announced that the US is giving $35 million, but after a few days (or I think after he found out that other first-world countries are giving at least $100 million worth of aid each), changed his mind and pledged $350 million. Relief operations now seem to be a contest among the most powerful countries in the world. This brings me to yet another question: Is it just me, or there seems to be a major shortage of genuine, unfeigned sympathy in the world today? Everyone seems to be struggling for power and recognition that compassion is completely erased from the picture.

Maybe all these are a painful realization that the world has become an environment of greed that even disasters as huge and far-out as this do not tug at the hearts of the powerful anymore. Maybe for God, this was the last straw. He may have been trying to call our attention through the other calamities that have been happening (the train accident in Madrid, the war in Iraq, the landslides in Quezon, the fire in Argentina, etc.), but we may have been too stubborn or too preoccupied with our own struggle for power to even care.

In time, all the devastated areas will be rehabilitated. But then, it may just be as good as putting band-aid on an already infected wound. Eventually, a band-aid will no longer suffice.

******************

Sumatra before the tsunami struck...

and Sumatra after.

So sad.

2005-01-05T03:28:00.000+08:00

Our client terminated its contract with our company. Good for me because I just resigned, but bad for those who will be left behind. They're given until February 4 and then after that, no more jobs for them. Hay. Until the government stops depending on other countries for jobs, I'm sure the unemployment rate in the country will go higher and higher and so will the number of poor Filipinos. Argh.

******************

I've played almost all the online games I know. I've visited blogs of people I don't even know and there are 2 more hours til going home time. So, to pass time, I got this from Waps' blog. Thanks, Waps! :)

1. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?: "Would You Be My Number 2?" Haha! It's being played on the radio, which I don't have control over.

2.COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE: THE WORLD NEEDS... more hope and unity.

3.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?: Chicken McNuggets

4. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Midnight Blue or Marigold

5. WHAT DO YOU DO DURING YOUR BREAKFAST TIME?: watch TV or read the papers.

6. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO on THE PHONE: my mom.

7. THE FIRST THING YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU SEE THE OPPOSITE SEX?: nothing.

8. AUTO OR MANUAL CAR?: so long as it works.

9. FAVORITE DAY/s OF THE week?: Thursday, Friday and Saturday

10. FAVORITE PLACE/s?: My room, my bathroom, the den, Figaro Galleria, Starbucks anywhere, Kaia's bathroom, Cam's bedroom, our room in Daddy Vic's house, the gazebo in Daddy Vic's garden, Antonio's, Sonia's Garden, Fontana (for all the mems), Boracay, Bohol.

11. FAVORITE SPORTS?: to watch: synchronized swimming/trampouline-jumping (or whatever it's called) and gymnastics. to play: table tennis and badminton

12. DO U WEAR CONTACTS? nope

13. WHY? because I have 20/20 vision. naks!

14. THE COOLEST THING I HAVE DONE TO RELEASE PRESSURE?: I don't think it was cool, but it was the most fun anyway. My friends and I dropped everything, even if time was running out and headed to the nearest bar to drink a couple of bottles of beer. This was about a couple of hours before Blue Roast and up until now, only Kyla, Bobs, Kaia, Wawie and I know about this. Hehe!

15.PEOPLE I HATE MOST: Americans who think they rule the world, Corrupt politicians, know-it-alls, super vain people.

16. WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A GIRL/BOY?: girl talk.

17. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY?: happy

18. MY BEST FRIEND/s IS/ARE: Kaia, Mike, Bobs, Rizalistas, Waps, Trey, Cam, Patty

19. CHOCOLATE OR FLOWER?: Chocolates

20. WheN I'M STUCK IN A JAM: I cry or write

21. IF YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME, YOU WOULD..: not turn back time.

23. IN YOUR WALLET, YOU HAVE: money, pictures, ID's, cards, letter from Waps

24. FAVORITE SMELLS?: Bath and Body Works' Sweet Pea, Coffee, Apple Pie, Mint

The Year That Was

2005-01-04T04:59:00.000+08:00

Things I realized in 2004:

1. Being weak once in a while is okay.

2. Even the people whom you always thought will always be there for you, won't.

3. If you think you're at your lowest, things can and oftentimes, will get worse.

4. Emotions are blinding and paralyzing.

Events that made an impact in my life in 2004:

1. My Surprise Party. It was such a wonderful way to start the year. Almost all my friends were there and I had so much fun! Although I sensed that I was having a surprise party way before the night itself, the mere effort of my friends to organize it compensated for their inability to keep the party a secret. Hehe! ;)

2. Graduation. People who know me well know that my graduation did not exactly happen the way I wanted it to, but it still is a milestone and it's definitely worth remembering so it makes the list. It was an event that gave me a whole new definition to the word bittersweet.

3. Boracay with several of my closest friends. It was my first and it will definitely not be my last. Nuff said.

4. First job. However miserable it may be, I'm happy that I got to learn more about myself through it.

5. Ear operations. I had to be operated on... twice. I'll forever remember the uber taray nurses, the r&b background music while the operation was going on and my brush with Prince Charming (this super cute doctor-to-be) while still groggy because of the anaesthesia.

6. Thursday Group. Coffee with Patty and Cam on Thursdays are always memorable.

7. Tiangge with cousins. It was fun hanging out with my cousins in the store, while selling stuff to passers-by. We got to not only earn, but also learn more about each other.

8. New Year's Eve. My cousins and I were finally allowed to drink alcohol in front of everyone in Daddy Vic's house. To our prodding, the grown-ups even took several shots of tequila! Haha!

9. Tito Jimmy's campaign. He may have lost, but I've surely gained so many priceless lessons and experiences from those two months of going house-hopping and vote-monitoring.

10. FPJ's death. I was never a fan. In fact, I was one of those who would rather die than vote for him. However, after reading write-ups and anecdotes about him and how kind he was and after finding out about the scores of people who love him, I believe that he was indeed a good soul and that he was such a big loss, if not for the political arena, for humankind in general.

11. The quakes and tsunamis in South Asia and several parts of Africa and the landslides in the country. They were all just totally unimaginable and incomprehensible. I cannot believe that devastations as huge as those can happen in my lifetime. There were so many lives lost that I have yet to understand and accept such a disastrous event.

Happy Birthday, Brat!

2005-01-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

I first met Waps in first year college. I was having lunch with some friends in the Caf. Suddenly, this guy sits across me and drops two handfuls of Cloud 9 chocolate bars on the table. He started munching on the chocolates and in a few minutes, only the wrappers were on the table. I was instantly interested in him because 1.) I, too, had that much love for chocolates especially when PMS-ing. Hehe! and 2.) He was the only guy I've ever met who can eat that much chocolate in one sitting. From then on, I never got that image of Waps with all the Cloud 9 bars in his hands off my mind.

Since that fist meeting, Waps and I have become very close. He's now one of my closest, most trusted friends. We've thought about and done so many crazy things-- from sharing a sleeping bag (in Fontana because the others didn't leave us space to sleep in), to getting drunk and being brats together. Yeah! Hehe! We haven't exactly been the ideal friends to each other, but I know for sure that not having all the criteria of a best kind of friendship is what makes ours so special.

*got this pic from waps' blog. sorry for not asking permission, waps!

cute naman eh! haha!

To Rafael, may this year be better than the last. Keep the laughter coming and the tears falling! :p Happy birthday! I love you!

Happy New Year

2004-12-30T06:12:00.000+08:00

I will be submitting my resignation letter in a few minutes.

In one month's time, I shall have my life back again.

Can't effing wait.

*****************************************

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fireworks.

2004-12-29T02:11:00.000+08:00

My highschool friends are at Pilar's right now for our annual dinner thing, and as usual, I had to leave early because of work. Back at home, the Berx got Tito Ellieng a lechon for his birthday party tonight. They's probably having a feast over there sans me.

This year's turning out to be one of my worst so far... Fortunately, there are only two days left of it.

I never thought being out of college can be really sad. A while ago, on my way to Podium, fireworks suddenly lit the sky. Then, I remembered that same time last year, I was with Trey in Starbucks in Megastrip watching the fireworks coming from Podium. We were capping off a wonderful day of lunch and an on-the-spot Tutuban trip with Jem. Fireworks really gets me sentimental, but seeing the ones I saw tonight made me extra senti. I told Trey about it through text and she said that she thinks those moments are God's reminder for us that moments with friends matter and that everyone of us has a single, most memorable moment with each of our friends. I think that was one of mine and Trey's moments. Oh, how I wish I can ride a time machine and go back to all of my moments with all of my friends.

I bet some QT with my barkada could cure my colds more than any cough syrup and decongestant could.

Anyways, this song just got played on the radio. Wala lang. I just find it nice although it's super sad...

How's It Gonna Be
Third Eye Blind

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I wanna get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm gonna miss

I wonder how it's gonna to be
When you don't know me
How's it gonna be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it gonna be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be
How's it gonna be

Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the doorway we spent time in
tha swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder how's it gonna be
When it goes down
How's it gonna be
When you're not around
How's it gonna be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be

How's it gonna be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it gonn be?

Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion... oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

How's it going to be

Cold(s) Christmas.

2004-12-28T05:03:00.000+08:00

As predicted, Christmas was different this year. It wasn't as fun and festive as the ones before. But then again, maybe it's just me.

Woke up at 5 p.m. to the sound of Christmas carols (thanks to Papa, who was busy DJ-ing all-day long) on Christmas eve to find Nico and my mom preparing food for Noche Buena. I then wrapped my gifts for everyone. At 8, we heard mass. By then, Lola Ester, Peachy, EJ, Eumir and Ethan were at our house already. Nico cooked Seafood Pasta and a salad of greens, strawberries, kani with a wonderful dressing. Mama bought a yummy cheesecake from Divine Desserts. The ham was okay. The hot chocolate made by Tita Rubee was heavenly. It would've been a sumptuos meal, had I not been down with fever and colds.

Later that night, Cam, Cecille and Czarina came over and had a few drinks with Nico and me. Mandel invited us over to his house but we decided not to go because it was already late. By the time I went to bed, I was so congested, I couldn't breath anymore.

On Christmas day, we has a reunion with my relatives on my father side. There, I was welcomed by the sound of more than a dozen kids squealing with toy guns on full blast. It couldn't have been more irritating. I then tried consoling myself with chocolates from my lola, but since I had colds, my very sore throat could swallow not much chocolates.

For dinner, we went to Daddy Victor's house. Dinner comprised of sushi, tempura, sashimi, turkey, ham and 2 kinds of cake. I was so full but again, I wasn't able to enjoy the meal because of my colds. After opening the gifts, Mandel came over with some wine. Cam, Patty, Cza, Cecille, Nico, Mandel and I went to my house to drink. I had to be the party pooper though because I was so tired and sleepy by 3 a.m. that I had to be the first to call it a night.

I woke up the next day with high fever. Great, huh? So on Sunday, I was just on my parents' bed, watching TV and taking in as much liquids as I could. On Monday, with not much improvement in the state of my health, I dragged myself to a YFC reunion. I went with Cam, Cecille, Cza, Dex, Carlo and JB. The invite said 6. We got there at 8. The program didn't start until almost 9. While waiting, I went to Mandel's house, which was just a few meters from the venue of the reunion. We chatted for a while outside his house until the program started. It was fun seeing the YFC people again although the program dragged on for so long that we were all yawning by the time it ended.

Today should be more fun than the days before it. I'm going to see my Fontana barkada! woohoo. I have to leave early though because of work... Haaay...

Christmas Eve.

2004-12-24T02:37:00.000+08:00

This Christmas will be so unlike the past ones. Aside from the fact that I will be sleeping the whole day of Christmas eve since I had work the night before, Christmas this year just seems so different. I guess I just got used to having all my friends and family around me while excitedly awaiting the coming of the holidays. I wasn't able to experience that this year. I was sleeping while everyone was shopping or I was at work while my friends were holding Christmas parties left and right. I feel like I missed out on the anticipation and just jumped from last Christmas to this without actually feeling the Spirit. Yes, I did my Christmas shopping for my family and friends but it just didn't feel as fun as before. Noche Buena is later already and I feel like I haven't helped out at all in the preparations and although I want to, I don't think my mom will allow me to because to top all these off, I have fever and colds. Darn, I might not even be able to enjoy the midnight meal.

But, amidst this rut that I'm in, I'm going on with it anyway because there sure is no stopping it. I'll wake up as early as I can and start wrapping my gifts. I'll go to mass with my family and try to enjoy the ham and the hot chocolate that's going to be served at midnight. If all else fails, I'll still wear a smile and go on with the day, if only for the real reason why we celebrate Christmas... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESS!

Christmas Stress.

2004-12-21T06:12:00.000+08:00

I am literally falling asleep while I'm typing this. I haven't felt this sleepy in a long time. Can't wait to get home and sleep on my bed. Hay.

***********

Anyways, I went to the tiangge with Kaia yesterday. Was able to buy several gifts for people: linen square pants for Nico, a pashmina for Lola Ester, pearl chandelier earrings for Ana and Cecille, Body butter for my mom, giant pens for my officemates, a pearl bracelet and a white bag for myself. :)

***********

While I was squirming my way though the throng of people in the tiangge before meeting up with Kaia, I saw Mike and Waps. I felt so relieved when I saw them. They were to me, solace amongst a sea of ferocious sharks ready to kill for the best bargains in the Greenhills Shopping Center. Hehe! We were supposed to have coffee afterwards but decided against it when there wasn't an empty table in Starbucks. They left when Kaia came because Mike had to get his daily dose of cartoons. Hehe!

***********

After getting our one weeks' worth of exercise (Kaia and I were stretching our arms and legs and alternating baby with giant steps just to get from one stall to the next), the two of us had a wonderful dinner in Italianni's. We split their herb roasted chicken and had a glass of wine each. Yum! She, Joshee and Chil then dropped me off at work before they went to the Night Market. Hay. Inggit!

***********

It's 4 days before Christmas and the Spirit hasn't sunk in yet. Haven't even gone to one dawn mass because of friggin' work! This is starting to be the worst Christmas season ever...

pearls

2004-12-15T05:33:00.000+08:00

I love pearls. I don't remember when I first had this affinity with it but now, whenever I see pearls, I feel drawn to them. They just have something in them that seems so mysterious. I'm so fascinated by them that my friends get weirded out with my reaction when I see pearls. Haay.

Super Weekend!

2004-12-14T04:24:00.000+08:00

The weekend that just passed was tiring as much as it was fun. I never knew that my body could ache because of too much laughing and eating!

Last Saturday after work, Kaia picked me up from the office for our last breakfast together because she's going back to the day shift so our scheds won't allow us to spend early mornings together anymore. Anyway, when I was on my way to her car, I noticed that she was laughing. I figured unless she was starting to go insane (which would not surprise me at all. Haha! Joke, Kae!), it was impossible that she was alone in the car. Sure enough, when I got in, Wawie was there! I was so happy to see the both of them that I was screaming when I got in the car. Hehehe! Then, we had breakfast at Whistlestop in Makati. As usual, I had a blast! We were just laughing about everything-- from the waiter (who had a really hard time communicating with Wawie, for some unknown reason), to this really creepy guy who looked like he was stoned (at 6 a.m.!).

After breakfast, Kaia dropped me off at Coffee Plus along Julia Vargas. There, I met up with Patty and 3 of her officemates. They had about a couple of bottles of beer each, while I had just one since I was super sleepy already. Yes, people on the nightshift have their after-office-hours-gimmicks too. Hehe!

I got home at around 11 and went straight to making the pate for that night's party. I asked my mom for help, because at the super sleepy state that I was in, I didn't think that I'd be able to follow the recipe to the letter. Fortunately, it turned out pretty okay, considering that I had to use substitutes for some ingredients since I wasn't able to find them when I went to the supermarket the day before.

I slept afterwards and woke up just in time for the party. Saturday's party was held at Pilar's and the theme was Pajamas. I didn't have time to prepare PJ's anymore so I wore what I thought was the closest thing to PJ's: linen khaki capris, a beige linen button-down shirt and flip flops. Unfortunately, my ensemble wasn't good enough for my friends who came in full-gear PJ's! Lauren even wore Sponge Bob flip flops! Haha! But I guess my not sticking to the theme was forgiven because they all loved my pate! Woohoo! Not bad for a first time, huh? We just lazed around, ate, watched TV, ate, made chismis, ate, watched Manny Pacquiao's fight (woohoo! Go Manny!), ate, took tons of pictures, and ate some more. By the time I got picked up by my dad and Nico, I was so full that I couldn't walk straight anymore! 2 letters to describe the girls last Saturday (Pilar, Mia, Bobs, Anj, Ria, Tammy, Kaia, Lauren, Clarie and me): PG! Bwahahaha! Love you guys!

When I woke up on Sunday, I went straight to the tiangge and manned it with Cam, Cecille, Kuya Paolo, Farrah, Patty and Jesse. I stayed there until around 5 p.m. since I still had to pack for the comm sleepover that night. I dropped off my stuff in Discovery Suites first and then went to Podium with Kaia to buy something for the exchange gift. The theme was 80's so I bought a CD of Sharon Cuneta. It's the one with Highschool Life and the other pacute songs of Sharon. Haha! When we went back to the room, the others were having dinner already. Would you believe that we started laughing over dinner and ended at at around 5:30 a.m.? Although most of the people slept early because they had to wake up early for work the next day, I still had fun with those who stayed up with me ("6th Floor Club" Hehe!). That's me, Carl and Kaia. We were just talking about life (being the only single, inexperienced and commitment-phobic people in the group) and laughing and eating (we ate all night and early morning long!). In the morning, the only ones who were left were Alessa, Patty, Chiara, Kaia and I. We had breakfast and then went back to the room to start packing because we had to check out at 12. Before leaving though, we had a sort of last hurrah. At first, we were just taking picutres of each other. And then, it turned super hilarious because we all started posing in funny ways! There was even a video of Kaia doing an improv of a lady introducing a boys' choir ("Mozart's something-something clock as performed by...."), complete with British accent and background music (c/o Chiara)! We were all literally rolling on the floor with laughter! Thanks, Patty, Ale, Lees, Randy, Chiara, Lar, Muff, Carl and Kaia for the super fun sleepover!

Patty, Lar, me, Lees, Car, Ale and Muff over a sumptous meal of putanesca,

shrimps, pate and cinnamon rolls. Not in the pic are Chiara and Randy.

Beautiful Kaia took the pic.

Kaia and I went to the spa afterwards to get a massage and boy did it feel soooo good! A massage was the perfect thing to cap off the wonderful weekend!

Hay. I love my friends!

T.G.I.F

2004-12-11T04:56:00.000+08:00

When I first heard this song in Oprah, I couldn't help but cry. Oprah introduced it by saying that if she had a daughter, this would be her song for her. Wonderful, wonderful song.

I HOPE YOU DANCE
By: Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I wish I were Oprah's daughter. Hehehe!

***************

One fun weekend coming up! My highschool barkada and I are getting together tonight for our annual all-girls Christmas party. The theme: PJ's. Yey! No need to dress up and be pretty. Can't wait to catch up with everyone and binge on all the good food that everyone's bringing. I'm cooking for the first time for tonight's dinner. I'm making pate. I'm not using foie gras though because funds are low and I don't have time to go to a specialty store to get some. But I'm using a tried-and-tested pate recipe which I've forever loved. I hope I don't mess up!

Sunday night promises to be fun too because the Comm Unblockmates (the uncool people of block A1 plus me, the honorary member since I'm the only one from A2) are having a sleepover at the Discovery Suites (much thanks to Patty). I hope everyone makes it. I miss hanging out with those guys!

***************

I've had the chance to hang out with my friends lately but I still miss those I haven't seen lately. So to Kyla Rivera, Trey Ajusto, Mon Cualoping, Aiko So, Jeremy Munji (belated happy birthday!), Fay Ibanez, SJ Perez, Rose Darauay, Mila Zamora, Bianx Nunag, Shar Tan, Willard Cheng, April Rojales, Claire Delgado, Mitzi Gonzales, Mandel Martires, Czacza Cruz, Ding Escalona, Eric Santillan, Glenn Francisco, Ral Peralta, Isa Silva, Izzy Zamora, Julian H. Del Pilar, Kai Gochioco, Toto dela Cruz, Toby Chua and the Berx, if you guys are reading this, I just want you to know that I miss you guys so much! I don't know when we'll see each other next, but I sure hope it'll be soon.

To the rest of my friends not on the list above, it's either we're going to see each other over the weekend so I won't miss you anymore after the weekend :p, or we haven't seen each other in ages that I'm resigned to but not happy with the fact that we may not see each other for ages more. So, I hope we'd bump into each other sometime, somewhere out there. Hehe!

I'm such a weirdo.

Au revoir for now. I shall have one helluvan F-U-N weekend! :)

Divi Adventure

2004-12-10T04:37:00.000+08:00

My cousins and I got a memo from Daddy Victor last week. It was about how he wants us to put up our own company, totally independent from his and completely managed by his elligible grandchildren. We will be provided with the space to put up whatever business we want and the seed money that we will be needing. At the end of the memo was an invitation to a meeting regarding the matter discussed.

At first, I was hesitant to react positively to the memo since my cousins and I swore when we were still studying that we would never work for Daddy's company because we didn't want to be dependent on him. We all promised to find our own jobs and be successful on our own, without any financial help from our families.

After the meeting though, I was a convert. It was explained to us by Tita Rubee that we need not stop pursuing what we want if we were going to put up our own company. Although her explanation lacked most of the business part (we decided to postpone that until next year), it was made clear that Daddy is not forcing us to work for him (although I'm sure working for him would give him pure bliss). He just wants stability for each one of us. That, I understand and I am very thankful for, considering the hard times that the country's presently experiencing.

Anyway, to make the long story short, we all decided that it's about time to heed Daddy's call (naks!). We all agreed to meet again early next year. By then, we shall have come up with the nature of the corporation we want to put up and the officers we want to elect.

Until then, we settled on putting up a "practice business." Each one of the 10 investors pitched in money so that we could put up a tiangge that would run from now until the end of January next year. We have to pay the rent, electricity and the person who's gonna man our booth. We decided it would be wise to go to Divisoria and buy our merchandise there. So, last Tuesday, Ana, Farrah, Tita Rubee, Mama, Papa and I went to Divisoria to buy toys, accessories and clothes for our store. I had so much fun bargaining with the Chinese stall owners! :) We were able to buy so much stuff that by the end of the day, we couldn't think of anything to buy anymore! Haha!

I was able to buy stuff for myself too. I got a pair of yellow ballet flats (not as great as the ones in Janylin but good enough) for P280, a brown bag (my favorite buy!) for P50, a couple of rings with small pearls for P20 each, and ceramic flower earrings which I got for P35 for 6 pairs! I also got denim cloth and had it made into jeans by Nico's tailor. I wanted to buy more for myself but I was too tired already. I swear, had I not known that there will be another trip to Divisoria next week, I would have killed myself from shopping! Haha!

I wasn't able to go to work that night because my parents didn't want me to work anymore since I didn't get to sleep that day. That was a welcome leave because I wasn't psyched to work that night. Not that I am ever psyched for work, but I think that if I did work that night, those 8 hours would have felt like 100 gazillion years. Which brings me to another thing... I told my boss already that I would be submitting my letter of resignation on the last day of this year. Woohoo! I never thought that finally verbalizing it would make me feel tons lighter! And, although resigning on December 31 would make me unemployed effective Feb 1, at least I'm gonna get my life back again. I'll finally be able to lead a normal, wake-up-during-the-day-and-sleep-at-night life. Hay. Can't wait.

***************

Can't believe it's 2 weeks before Christmas! I haven't even started with my shopping yet! I don't even have a list yet! Waaah!!!

But before letting the panick sink in, I deem important that I come up with my Christmas wish list first! Haha! :P

1.) Anything made of/with pearls!
2.) Big bottles of Clinique Happy and D&G Light Blue
3.) Tamed hair. :p
4.) Tickets to an Asian cruise.
5.) A really cool and fun job.
6.) World peace.
7.) Happiness for all. Naks!

And last but not the least (drumroll please)...

8.) A boyfriend. Haha!!! :P

***************

Yey! Time to go home... One more work day til the weekend!!! :D

Blablabla...

2004-12-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

I was so happy when I found out that work was called off last night! However, last night was scary too. I felt scared for the people whose homes weren't as sturdy as ours and who, if they missed just one day of work in the farm or at sea, won't have food to feed their families. I so wanted to go to GMA or ABS-CBN to help out with the relief operations but I knew my parents would not allow me considering the winds that Yoyong promised to bring were super strong.

Anyways, I was able to just be lazy and spend time with my family and catch up with Mike over the phone. I'm rearing to win our bet (and based on our conversation last night, I think I'm gonna win it soon. Hehe!), so I'd get my free Javanese Royal Bath already! I'm reaping the fruits of having women's intuition and a predictable bestfriend! Hehe! ;P

And then this morning, while setting up our Christmas tree, Tita Rubee called asking if we wanted to have lunch at Daddy's house so the four of us went and had lunch there. When we got there, I found out that Ana, Johnny, Isay, Nathan, Cam, Cecille, Czarina, Abby, Xavier and Joaquin all slept over. I was so inggit! I didn't know about it at all although Cam texted me the night before telling me to go to Daddy's but I figured it was just for dinner so I didn't go. So there. I missed out on all the chika and bonding with my cousins!

After lunch, we all went to the family room and watched White Chicks. It was hilarious! Anti-climactic though was that after the movie, I had to go back home to catch some sleep before going to work. Hay.

And now, I'm done with work and it's only 4 a.m. so I have 2 more hours to kill before Kaia picks me up. We're going to the tiangge and then going to the Days meeting! I'm so happy it's the last day of work! Woohoo!!!

***********************

I was going through my old stuff a while ago and found this. It's from a class I took under Mr. Jim Paredes. I liked this reading when I initially got a hold of it, but when I reread it now, I felt I could relate to it now more than ever. It's a long read but it's very interesting.

STAGES IN A HERO'S JOURNEY

1. The Ordinary World
The Hero's Journey starts with a snapshot of you, the Hero, in the Ordinary World, not fully satisfied with some part of your life. Despite the external success you may- or may not- have achieved, something is missing from your life. At fault are the limiting assumptions, negative beliefs, bad habits, and unchallenged fears you hold about yourself and the world. They affect your career and relationships, leaving you unhappy, angry, anxious, closed down, or depressed.

2. The Call to Adventure
Somewhere inside, you know that a bigger life awaits you. You dream of being successful, joyful, unlimited and free. This is your soul's cry to be recognized, and your heart's longing to find and follow your bliss. Absolute freedom, unlimited possibility, pure joy and unconditional love await you.

3. Resistance- Refusing your Calling
Refusing your Calling when you focus on the price tag of living your dreams instead of the potential benefits, you naturally feel reluctant to jump in. No matter how uncomfortable you are now, at least it's familiar. Venturing into the unknown is too scary. So you end up staying exactly where you are.

4. Outrage- The Straw that Breaks...
A painful, pivotal event occurs. You are "called out" by the universe and watch helplessly as the house you have carefully built burns down. Now you can no longer allow your fears, wounds, negativity or bad habits to control your life. You cannot accept the greater price you are paying to your spirit. Finally, you say "Enough!"

5. Committing to the Journey
This is the moment you fully commit to yourself. You say goodbye to your Ordinary World, firmly choosing to face your fears and answer yout Calling.

***You cross the first threshold: Separation from the Ordinary World.

6. Challenge the Adventure
Your commitment opens the door to the new and unexpected adventures. You encounter allies and worthy adversaries who challenge your preconceived notions, judgments, and ideas about yourself and the world. You discover that you are not who you thought you were and; you have separated yourself from others and abandoned your true self. Who are you then?

7. The Heart of the Storm
Descending into the innermost cave of your fear, you drop your masks and face your inner demons. You are determined to allow the image of you to die so that the real you can be reborn.

***You cross the second threshold: Initiation and Transformation, Death of the old identity and birth of the expanded self.

8. The Resurrection
The truth of your existence is revealed. You finally feel what you always knew-- that your are whole, unlimited and connected to the universe. Now you are finally at peace with yourself. But you don't want to be a "monk on a mountain." You must return to the Ordinary World to put your spiritual transformation to the test.

***You cross the final threshold: Return and Integration back into the Ordinary World.

9. The Rewards
You return to the Ordinary orld free of your limiting maskes and beliefs. This is the life you have always wanted. Joy, success and abundance radiate from you as a reflection of your own magnificence. The universe responds as it always has-- unlimited and unpredictable-- but you now stand ready to recognize and fully receive its gifts withrout shrinking back.

10. Life Purpose
With your struggle over, you can now focus on what you want to give instead of trying to get. Your service to the world is an expression of your overflowing fullness, not from any need or expectation. No matter what you choose to do, it is the quality of heart you bring to it that reflects your mission. As you let your own light shine, you inspire others to do the same. This light is what you are here to give-- your life's purpose.

***********************

Just had to post this... It's playing on the radio right now and it made me reminisce about stuff. :)

Love Is

Vanessa Williams & Brian McKnight

They say it's a river that circles the Earth

A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe

It conquers all, it changes everything

They say it's a blessing, they say it's a gift

They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is

It conquers all, but it's a mystery

Love breaks your heart

Love takes no less than everything

Love makes it hard

And it fades away so easily

In this world we created, in this place that we live

In the blink of an eye, babe, the darkness slips in

Love lights the world

unites the lovers for eternity...

Love breaks the chains

Love aches for every one of us

Love takes the tears and the pain

And then turns it into the beauty that remains

Look at this place, it was paradise

But now it's dying

I'll pray for love

I'll take my chances, that it's not too late

Love breaks your hear

Love takes no less than everything

Love makes it hard

And it fades away so easily

Oh Oh Oh, Love breaks the chain

Love aches for every one of us

Love take the tears and the pain

And it turns it into the beauty that remains...

Midnight Blue Crayola

2004-12-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

Remember the time when we were kids and our box of Crayola meant the whole world to us? I'd always make sure that the tips were sharpened and all the crayons were of the same height. If, for instance I used one crayon more than the rest (meaning it got a lot worn out than the other ones), I'd ask my parents for a new box of Crayola just because it just didn't feel right whenever they're not of the same condition. Of course it wasn't always that I'd get a new box of Crayola. So, when I couldn't convince my parents to get me new crayons, I'd just get the crayons in the best condition and put them in the best box I have. Then, it looked as if I had a brand new box.

But then, I'd always encounter a problem: Whenever I looked for a color I wanted to use while coloring, it would always not be in the box I custom-made. It would always be left behind in the pile of used and worn out ones. Then, I'd have to dig through all the old crayons I have just to find that color I wanna use.

My life seems to be a page in a coloring book right now and somewhat I couldn't finish coloring the page because I couldn't find the color I wanna use to be able to finish it. And I couldn't just turn the page and transfer to the next one because that lone crayon would make the difference in the page, like the indigo in a rainbow or the black stripes on the zebra.

I would always try to look for that missing crayon in every corner of my study table. But then, patience, just like almost eveything else, runs out and there were times when I'd give up and just left the page unfinished.

There was one color though that I made sure was always in my box: Midnight Blue. I didn't care about the other colors as much as I did for my Midnight Blue Crayola. As long as it was in my box, no matter how frustrated I was that I didn't get to finish coloring some pages in my coloring book, I was contented.

I want my Midnight Blue Crayola now.

Lasts...

2004-11-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

Got this from Kaia's blog, as usual. Hehe. :)

Last Car Ride: On my way to work sa car ni Charles Lu. Thanks Charles! :)

Last Cry: November 14, Sunday.

Last Smile: 5 minutes ago.

Last Library Book Checked Out: I don't remember.

Last Movie Seen: Alexander. Didn't like it.

Last Book Read: The Observatory by I forget who.

Last Beverage Drank: Strong Ice at Racks.

Last Crush: Hero Angeles. Haha!

Last Phone Call: My mom.

Cellphone: My mom.

Landline: My mom.

Watched: Starting Over on ETC

Last Time Showered: Kaia's house kanina or was that yesterday? Sorry. No sense of time na.

Last Shoes Worn: I'm wearing Janylin wedges now. Before these, I wore my black flipflops with sequins.

Last CD Played: Soundtrack of 50 First Dates.

Last Item Bought: A silver snake arm thingie for Kathy.

Last Downloaded: A song by Sugarfree. I don't remember the title anymore coz that was ages ago.

Last Disappointment: Just recently at someone about something. ;p

Last Key Used: Key to my heart... Joke... House keys.

Last Phrase Spoken: "This is sooo boring!" with conviction. (Referring to what I do at work.)

Last Sleep: 9am-2pm yesterday or kanina...Whatever.

Last Ice cream Eaten: Pwede ba Ice Buko? Last Monday, at home.

Last Time Amused: Yesterday morning, by Kaia's and my ability to be able to make ourselves laugh like crazy. Haha! ("Ay! Pons ko...")

Last Time Wanted To Die: Never wanted to die.

Last Time In Love: 10 million years ago. Haha! ;)

Last Time Hugged: Got a hug a while ago from Carl.

Last Time Kissed: Can't remember. Summer siguro. Hehe!

Last Time Held Hands: Saturday with Wawie (testing lang kung okay sya mag-hold ng hand. Haha!)

Last Webpage Visited: prnewswire.com (For work, obviously.)

Last Song Listened To: Englishman In New York, sang by 17:28 at Racks. Galing!

Last Time Stressed: Now, because I'm hungry and I couldn't find anything on the net to work on because the Americans (whom we're supposed to get stuff from) are busy stuffing themselves with Turkey and whatever else is on their tables! Plus, I think I'm PMS-ing! Aaargh!

Last Time REALLY Happy: 1 gazillion centuries ago.

Last Time Excited: Now, for tomorrow's thing with friends. :)

Last Time Confused: Now.

Last Time Worried: Last night about the schedule of my interview in Shoemart today and how I'd fit it in with the rest of my plans.

Last Time Late For Class: For work? 2 days ago, by 5 minutes.

Yey! Long weekend ahead! Can't wait to hang out with my friends at Kaia's tonight. I haven't really sat down and bonded with a lot of them lately so tonight should really be something to look forward to. My interview in Shoemart's today also. I hope I get that job or that other position I applied for in Seer Technologies (naks! technology daw!). Basta, I'll take whatever job so long as it's not the one I have now!

Have to end this. Kaia's coming in a while... More bonding and sleeping, coming up! :)

Nice....

2004-11-26T06:02:00.000+08:00

Nice.....

All Those Yesterdays
Pearl Jam

Don't you think you oughtta rest?
Don't you think you oughtta lay you head down?
Don't you think you want to sleep?
Don't you think you oughtta lay your head down tonight?

Don't you think you've done enough?
Oh, don't you think you've got enough, well maybe..
You don't think there's time to stop
There's time enough for you to lay your head down, tonight, tonight

Let it wash away
All those yesterdays

What are you running from?
Taking pills to get along

Creating walls to call your own
So no one catches you? drifting off and
Doing all the things that we all do

Let them wash away
All those yesterdays
All those yesterdays
All those paper plates

You've got time, you've got time to escape
There's still time, it's no crime to escape
It's no crime to escape, it's no crime to escape
There's still time, so escape
It's no crime, crime..

All those yesterdays {9X}

Low Light
Pearl Jam

Clouds roll by
Reeling is what they say
Or is it just my way?

Wind blows by, low light
Side-tracked, low light
Can't see my tracks, your scent-way back

Can I be here all alone?
Clear a path to my home
Blood runs dry
Books and jealousy tell me wrong
All I feel, calm
Voice blows by, low light

Car crash, low light
Can't wear my mask, your first, my last

Voice goes by
Two birds is what they'll see
Getting lost upon their way
Wind rolls by, low light
Eye sight, low light
I need the light
I'll find my way from wrong, what's real?
The dream I see

Goals

2004-11-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

Things to do before I reach the age of 25:

1.) Find a self-fulfilling and/or enjoyable job. At this point in my life, I really don't have any idea on what field I want to get myself in. When I was younger, I wanted to become a writer, but then while in college, I realized that there are about a gazillion other aspiring writers who write tons better than I do. Thus, I'd rather leave the congested field of journalism to those more deserving writers than force myself into an industry where I know my work will not be welcomed warmly. After wanting to become a writer, I wanted to become an artist. The problem was that I had no idea what form of art I wanted to pursue and I didn't think I was talented enough to be a true blue artist. So now, I'm left with no other options, lest I jump into the corporate pit-- the area I've forever detested (the mere thought of having to encounter numbers, graphs or hi-tech gadgets give me the creeps). So now until the time I find my true passion, I'm thinking of being any of the following just so I can talk about a career whenever I get together with my working friends:

- A call center agent. I know, I know. But hey, the moolah's not bad.... at all.

- Design candles and home accents for my mom. I figure since she asks me for my opinions about her designs anyway, I might as well come up with my own and propose them to her.

- Pirate my mom's candle supplier and make him quit working for my mom and instead make him work for me. Bwahahaha! Evil.

- A businesswoman. Naaks. I just don't know yet what kind of business I want to put up.

2.) Go to and explore an Asian country. I want to go to Thailand and just drown myself in durian, tamarind and lanzones. I want to stay for several days in the spas of Bali. I want to go shopping in Cambodia. I want. I want. I waaaant...

3.) Be visible in my town. This has to do with my long term goal of running for office. Since noone really knows me in our town aside from my relatives and some friends, I have to do things that would make my name ring a bell when people hear it. Here are some ideas on how I would do that:

- Put up a basketball league with my friends, David and Dex. Our goal is summer next year.

- Organize a medical mission program. This way, I will not only obtain my goal, but I can also start helping my kababayans. Naks!

- Go to all the parties in Cainta that I'm going to be invited to to make more friends and learn more about the goings-on in town.

4.) Support WOW Philippines. Go to Palawan, Davao, Sagada, Puerto Galera and other places in the Philippines that I've never been to.

5.) Have at least one article published in the papers. I guess I just need this to revive the deflated ego of the writer in me.

6.) Find a hobby. I was thinking maybe cross-stitching or knitting... joke. I want to try something new. Pottery's too boring for me. Cooking will make me more overweight. I hate technology too much to get into Graphic Design or anything else that's related to computers. I'll probably play the violin again or learn to play another instrument.

7.) Give myself a make-over. I'm giving myself 4 years to accomplish the following since I've always wanted to do them but was never able to when I was in college.

- Get a rebond (or any treatment that will make my hair presentable when it's down), get fit (go to the gym regularly and stick to a healthy, no-junk-food diet)

- Go to the derma regularly (and religiously follow what the doctor tells me to do)

- Buy something nice (a piece of clothing, an accessory, make-up, etc.) every pay day.

8.) Feed my mind and soul.

- Put up a mini-library in my room of all my favorite books (and add more titles to my list of must-reads).

- Go on a retreat.

- Go on a personality development or creativity seminar or any seminar/talk/whatever with the same effect.

9.) And last but definitely not the least.... Find a boyfriend. Bwahahaha!!! Joke!

p.s. jokes are half-meant. joke ulit. haha!!

THREE

2004-11-11T03:26:00.000+08:00

Got this from Kaia's blog again. Thanks K! Keep 'em coming! Hehe!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME: Snakes. Heartache. War.

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH: Kaia. Mike. Adette

THREE THINGS I LOVE: The beach at night. Feeling loved. Flipflops.

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND: Math. Men :P. Technology.

THREE THINGS IN MY BAG: Body Spray. Wallet. Phone

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW: Answering this. Copying. Pasting. hehe!

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE: Get married. Go on a looong Mediterranean Cruise. Put up a shelter for indigent people.

THREE THINGS I CAN DO: Play the violin. Make people laugh. Love.

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO: Solve Math problems. Put up a fake front. Cartwheel.

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO: Waves crashing on the beach. My mom's advice. Raindrops.

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER: FPJ's speeches. Trikes on Katipunan. Aleck Bovick singing.

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST: Uluul?!?. Hahaha! Zzzzzzz.

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS: Durian. Brie. Tocino

THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN: Paint. Scuba dive. Speak straight Spanish and Italian.

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY: Sola Lemon Iced Tea. Water. Coffee

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID: Knots Landing (haha! my mom was addicted to it!). Sesame Street. Discovery Channel.

************

Since Three is the subject at hand, I might as well talk about the Asian movie, Three. I saw it this weekend and I must say that although I think there's a surplus of Asian horror films in the market nowadays, I liked the film a lot. I guess it's because I didn't find it scary at all. I mean, I don't mind watching scary movies. In fact, I'm a big fan of them. Lately though, it seems like horror movies are being made just because it's the fad and so producers are willing to compromise a good story plot with profit. Yes, there were a few scenes in Three that gave me goosebumps, but I think the subliminal messages within those three short films overpowered the fear factor in them.

I don't want to be a spoiler so I'll just leave it at that. Three is one of, if not the best Asian horror films I've seen (I haven't seen a lot though. haha!). Two (or three. hehe!) thumbs up for Three.

More Tears

2004-11-09T04:22:00.000+08:00

I cried again a while ago. I don't know why, but when I saw Dex, my neighbor and very good friend, I just started crying. He asked me why and I told him I missed my friends so much that just bumping into them made me cry. Hay. My tear ducts seem to be working double time nowadays. It's been producing extra tears so crying has been effortless, or even involuntary at times that it's starting to get annoying.

*********************************

My mom told me to find another job. Dex told me that too and so did many of my other friends. My officemate, Adette, is planning to quit soon. Maybe I should take what my mom and my friends are saying and Adette's resignation as a sign... I have to quit soon. I've been in a roller coaster of emotions ever since I started working here and I if I don't leave soon, that roller coaster may take a very unhealthy and destructive plunge.

I will decide on this matter on or before December 15. 'Til then, I shall go on the job hunt once again. Wish me luck.

*********************************

This afternoon's episode of One Tree Hill made me cry too. The plot was too shallow to make a big deal out of, but it made me cry nonetheless.

Here are the lyrics to the theme song... Nice!

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
if you're not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be

Inggit...

2004-11-06T04:49:00.000+08:00

A lot has been said about the US elections. I've read a lot about it in the papers, internet and even on other people's blogs. As for me, I hate it that Bush got re-elected. This, above all my other reasons, is because he started the war against the Taliban and Saddam Hussein. I don't care how much justification his government gives these wars. WAR IS WAR IS WAR. No explanation can justify the thousands of homes destroyed, morals damaged and most of all, the many lives lost. What's funny is that I read in the papers this morning that Bush won because of his morals.... What morals?!? A moral person does not start brawls with other people. And even if it wasn't he who started, a moral person avoids all means of violence and other evil ways in settling conflicts-- Bush didn't. My mom asked me why I was so disappointed when Bush won again and why I wanted Kerry to win. "Don't you think Kerry is incompetent and would not be strong enough to lead the most powerful country in the world?" she asked me. Kerry may be meak or weak even, but I'd rather have a weak president than a warfreak one. I think weakness is just a state of mind anyway. Wreaking havoc on innocent people, on the other hand, is unfogivable. Hay. At least (let me quote Tam), "It's nice to know that our voters aren't the only ones who are (excuse the term) dumb."

The only nice thing about the turn-out of the US elections is how easily Bush and Kerry were able to put aside their differences just so they can move on unitedly as a nation. I got teary-eyed while reading about Kerry's concession speech and concession call to Bush and Bush's very humble victory speech. They gave me goosebumps and made me green with envy. If only FPJ and the rest of the other bitter rivals of GMA would stop being selfish and start thinking about the betterment of the country, then maybe... just maybe the Philippines could start climbing up the stairs to progress.

Gaya-gaya ako. Haha!

2004-11-05T03:29:00.000+08:00

I saw this in Waps' and Kaia's blogs, who both got this from Jeline's blog. I decided to join the bandwagon. Haha!

10 FRIENDS/BUDDIES (Or groups of people. Hehe! Daya eh no?) YOU CONSIDER CLOSE TO YOU (in no particular order)
[1] Patty and Cam - sisters I never had.
[2] Mike - my mind/soul/heart reader.
[3] Kaia and Bobs - my guardian angels... iyeees. cheesy!
[4] Waps - my co-brat! ;)
[5] Randy and Chiara - my second pair of parents. hehe!
[6] Lisa and Trey - my mind/soul/heart stimulants.
[7] The Berx :) - my stress relievers.
[8] A2 Annex - from cutting classes to bonding at Willard's pad. Nuff said.
[9] Ria, Anj, Tam, Panyessa and Kyla - Guuuurl Power!
[10] Kuya Jess - super tight kami! hehe!

9 THINGS THAT U REALLY WANT RIGHT NOW
[1] S-L-E-E-P
[2] to see the people on my top 10 list and spend lots of time with them.
[3] my own business
[4] yellow ballet flats from Janylin (na out-of-stock na!! waaah!)
[5] a more exciting job
[6] to spend a whole day at the spa
[7] to go on a retreat
[8] silver Havaianas
[9] World Peace

8 IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR BAG EVERYDAY
[1] wallet
[2] phone
[3] house keys
[4] Moonflower body spray
[5] Mentos/Raspberry-flavored Halls
[6] lip gloss
[7] Winston lights and lighter
[8] pen

7 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM OTHER THAN THE BASICS
[1] Days tags
[2] books
[3] boxes of memories (naks! mushy!)
[4] my violins
[5] star chimes from Fay, Es and Rose
[6] star-shaped lamp from Kaia
[7] "The Queen" Mirror

6 THINGS YOU DISLIKE
[1] Bush getting re-elected
[2] not seeing the people I love as often as I want to
[3] MATH!
[4] corruption and uber politicking
[5] PDA
[6] War

5 OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
[1] Durian!
[2] Pampanga's Best Tocino
[3] Chocolate Cake ng Area Cafe (haaaay.)
[4] Brie or Camembert cheese
[5] Chicken Veggie Salad ng Pho Hoa (minus the garlic)

4 THINGS YOU ATE/DRANK TODAY
[1] Shrimp Popcorn at Popeye's
[2] Pudding with vanilla sauce from Figaro
[3] cup noodles
[4] cafe latte

3 CURRENT/RECENT CRUSHES
[1] Rodrigo Santoro
[2] Christian Bautista OR Hero Angeles. haha!
[3] This guy I see at work, but he's on the a.m. shift so I don't get to see him much.

2 THINGS YOU READ EVERYDAY
[1] email
[2] newspaper

1 PERSON YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT (must be living)
[1] my momma

Snaps for Channing!

2004-11-03T05:48:00.000+08:00

To live content with small means, to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich, to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly, to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart, to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never, in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common, this is to be my symphony.

-William Henry Channing

New Discoveries

2004-10-28T05:11:00.000+08:00

I'd just like to share my latest discoveries...

Discovery #1: During my break, I was walking to Mini Stop when I came across a poster for an upcoming concert. On it were pictures of those who're gonna perform. Imagine my surprise when I saw my friend, SJ on it. I was like, "Oh my gosh! Singer na pala si Es?" Yun pala, the girl on the poster was Kitchie Nadal. Sobra lang silang magkamukha. As in. (I'd post pictures of them here if I could but I have yet to be familiar with photobucket and believe me, it will take time.)

Discovery #2: 99.5 RT. It's my favorite radio station nowadays. It's through listening to RT that I discovered Kitchie Nadal's "'Wag Na 'Wag Mong Sasabihin", Bamboo's "Masaya", Session Road's "Suntok Sa Buwan" and other songs that tug at the heart. Pinoy artists rooock!!! RT also plays One Tree Hill's theme song. I forget the title.

Discovery #3: SOLA lemon iced tea... the next best thing to the kind they serve in fine-dining restaurants. According to the label, it's "real brewed, all natural," and it sure tastes like it!

Discovery #4: Moby Caramel Puffs. Three words: Yum. Yum. Yum. (warning: at first, it may not be all that, but it grows on you and eventually, it gets addicting!)

To be continued (I just remembered, I still have to find a way to put my thumbmark on my Pag-Ibig form. Wish me luck. It won't be easy to find a stamp pad at 5:44 in the morning in an almost empty office.)........

Bawl-er ID (haha.corny.)

2004-10-27T05:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've cried. This afternoon, in the middle of a much-anticipated 8-hour sleep, I suddenly woke up and just burst into tears. At first, it was just the MTV-kind-- the stare-out-the-window-while-tears-slowly-roll-down-your-eyes type of crying. After a few minutes however, it turned into a big time bawl. I went to my bathroom when I could no longer stop and tried to calm myself by washing my face but it was useless. I just kept on crying and crying. When nothing seemed to stop my tears from flowing, I just went back to bed in weak and tired surrender. I woke up at 5 p.m. not remembering when I stopped from my crying fit. Until now, I'm still figuring out why I cried a while ago and why I cried with that much intensity. I don't remember the last time I cried that way, or maybe I just refuse to remember.

***********************************************

My experience this afternoon made me think... Is crying a form of weakness, just like our elders tell us? Or is it possible that it may be a form of strength, because by crying, we acknowledge whatever emotion we harbor and by being aware of that emotion, we are able to face life head-on, hence we become braver and more courageous. This is in contrast to keeping our tears from falling and hiding the pain or at times, the joy that we're feeling.

***********************************************

I told Adette, my officemate, about what happened to me this afternoon. She said it was totally okay to cry and that it was healthy. But can my crying, or better yet, wailing a while ago be regarded as okay and healthy considering that I have yet to find the reason behind it?

Hay.

Random Thoughts and Kwentos

2004-10-16T05:02:00.000+08:00

While blog-hopping a while ago, I realized that so many things are happening to my friends. It seems like everything's happening to everyone while I'm stuck in my own little world, unmindful of all the things that are happening around me. I hate this feeling. I remember when I was still in college, I set a goal for myself. I told myself I was going to find me a great job. With great, I didn't mean a high-paying one, nor one that would give me a big shot title. All I wanted was a job I'd enjoy and love or if not a job, at least an experience that would change my life. I envy my friends who are having and who just had the time of their lives. Kaia's happy with her job and her path to her dream of becoming a teacher seems clear and bump-free. Alessa just finished a short course in NYU. Based on her stories about her 5-month trip, she's learned a lot and had a blast at the same time. She's now expanding her Art Adventures business. Tammy just got back from the States too. There, aside from realizing a lot of things about herself, she was also able to spend time with Caloy and her relatives and work at Subway. Ria's getting her master's degree so that she could be a teacher-- something she always wanted to become. After college, Mike plans to take up law, work and earn enough so his future wife and kids would be able to live comfortably. Jem's in med school and seems to be enjoying every minute of it.

I can go on and on writing about my friends and how their lives seem to be so colorful compared to mine. What's sad about it is that I know what I want to become or what things I want to do, but I just don't know how and where to start. I feel like my dreams are becoming harder and more impossible to reach by the day. Hay.

On a brighter note, I saw Anj, Lauren, Ria and Bobs today. Even if I only got to spend an hour with them, I had fun! I'm looking forward to Alessa's party tomorrow... I'll finally see my friends again after what feels like a million years.

I also got my first paycheck! woohoo! hehe! I haven't bought anything with it yet except for a bottle of cologne (Fay, bumili na ako ng Moonflower, finally! Ikaw lang pwede humingi! haha!!!) and Patty's and my dinner last night. Nakakatawa pa kasi I forgot to get the check! Buti na lang the waiters were nice so they all ended up laughing with me and Patty. Jahe talaga! I also saw Ladder 49 today. It was okay. I got teary-eyed when the scenes or the dialogues were about saving people. Di ko talaga alam kung bakit ang lambot ng puso ko pagdating sa mga ganon. Hay. Baka gusto ni God na maging bumbero ako! bwahahaha! labo.

Labo ng entry na to. Para akong schizo.

Anyways, time to go home!!! woohoo! Thank you, Lord, for the weekend. Amen.

New Blog. New Life.

2004-10-15T05:08:00.000+08:00

I would like to start this blog with a list of all the new things I'm experiencing at the moment:

1. I have a job... finally. It's nothing to brag about though because all I do is copy and paste. I work in the same company where my friend, Ria works at. Before I got the job, Ria would endlessly discourage me to accept the position. Now, I understand why. But then again, a job is a job is a job.

2. My phone gave up on me. I don't have a cellphone at the moment and while others like me dread their every cellphone-less moment, I must admit that I'm not at all affected by my loss. I'm getting a new phone soon, I just don't know when and frankly I don't mind the long wait.

3. My world's gone upside down. I no longer see the light of day. That's because I'm on the nightshift, so during the day, I'm on my bed in sweet slumber while everyone goes on with their normal lives.

4. I feel so detached from my my family and friends. Number one reason would be because I work at night when they're sound asleep and I sleep when they're all up and about. The second reason is that I don't have a cellphone right now and there's no YM in my office. Hay. I miss them so much.

5. It's the 15th tomorrow and I'm gonna get my first ever real paycheck! Actually, I'm not sure if I'm gonna get it tomorrow since the company hasn't given me my ATM card yet. But that's beside the point.

So there. New stuff, for a new blog (although this blog's not that new anymore. It's just that I never had the time to write... until now.)

2004-09-08T01:10:00.000+08:00

blog under construction by my very beautiful best friend kaia. ;p